Sooner or later I must face the unavoidable truth of what I have become: I am a slave with no Master.
I can never undo what happened. Hugo Strange broke me. He took me apart, one piece at a time, and rebuilt me according to his own wishes. Somehow, in a moment of inexplicable and fleeting strength, I managed to escape his clutches--but I cannot deny the feelings he has unleashed in me. He knew things about me that no one else could ever know. Every single thing he did to me and for me was something I have wanted my entire life. I realize now that I assumed the role of the Batman not to avenge a childhood tragedy but to surrender to it. My goal is not to fight crime, it is to be fought--and to be beaten.
Hugo Strange was right. He was my savior. I am nothing without him.
NO. NO. NO! I cannot allow myself to think this way. He did something to me while I was in captivity--the barrage of drugs and tortures he inflicted upon me have clouded my mind. I thought I could shake it by leaving, but it's no use. I can't be who I was, I can't be who I always meant to be, until I can get his poison out of my mind...
... and yet I am addicted to that poison now. It feeds me, nourishes me, keeps me alive.
I wish he was here right now to take me in his arms and send me to the ground and punish me for attempting to disobey him. Everything was so much simpler when I lived in that cage.
I still live there, I realize now--it's just that the bars are harder to see. I am like a dog waiting for his owner to return, only I know that can never happen again.
I need help. And I think I know where to turn.