Saturday, November 05, 2005

212. Bruce

I had a troubling dream last night.

That is not a new development, of course, but the content of this one was unfamiliar.

I dreamed that Gustavus took the secrets he has learned about me and turned them against me. He became my greatest enemy--and because he has access to both sides of my life, the damage he inflicted was mammoth and irreversible. He set about to destroy me on every level: my career, my psyche, my physical being. At the climax, he had me stretched out on a device modeled on a rack, intended to pull my body completely apart.

I woke up in wet bedsheets like an adolescent.

And I knew that it was time, at last to call him. To arrange a meeting.

I cannot hide from him any longer. Cannot hide from myself.

Cannot hide from our destiny.