I had a troubling dream last night.
That is not a new development, of course, but the content of this one was unfamiliar.
I dreamed that Gustavus took the secrets he has learned about me and turned them against me. He became my greatest enemy--and because he has access to both sides of my life, the damage he inflicted was mammoth and irreversible. He set about to destroy me on every level: my career, my psyche, my physical being. At the climax, he had me stretched out on a device modeled on a rack, intended to pull my body completely apart.
I woke up in wet bedsheets like an adolescent.
And I knew that it was time, at last to call him. To arrange a meeting.
I cannot hide from him any longer. Cannot hide from myself.
Cannot hide from our destiny.