Monday, November 14, 2005

215. Dick Grayson (letter from Baton Rouge, LA)

Dear Bruce,

Time again to write and let you know how things are going down here. Since my last note, I've been all over the Gulf Coast, working on a variety of projects. For a couple of weeks I did nothing but string cable through little tiny holes in an equally tiny town outside Biloxi. Not very glamorous, I assure you, but it seems to be what is needed most right now--and I can say with certainty that I never would have done anything remotely like this if I hadn't met you. I know this isn't the kind of work you had in mind for me, but it just seems to fit. I think both of us are trying hard to put our pasts behind us even as we find new ways to make the world a better place. I don't feel any more like a hero than I did when you and I were working together, but at least I can live with myself. There are still nights when I wake up gasping for air after dreaming about ... those bad times we had at the end. I did things I can't ever forgive myself for, and I know that it will take a lifetime of good deeds to make up for the damage I caused.

I feel kind of weird telling you this, but I've met someone out here on the road. Like me, he's been travelling around, trying to lend a hand however he can, wherever he can, and for the last six weeks we've been making sure we end up in the same place as often as possible. We generally work different assignments during the day but end up together at night--usually in a work tent, although sometimes someone in town offers us a place to stay. He's about your age (I guess I have a thing for older men, after all) and seems to do things like this fairly often--it's a new experience for me, but he's been on the road for several years now. His name is Oliver. I don't have any illusions that we're building anything permanent--given the nature of our lives, that doesn't seem possible--but it's nice while it lasts.

I honestly don't have a clue where to go from here, or how much longer I can keep this up; I'm just trying to stay open to whatever possibilities present themselves. I hope to return to Gotham sooner or later, for a visit if not for good. When I do, you can be sure I'll give you a call.