[transcript from recording device on Batman's utility belt]
GOOD MORNING, BATMAN. SLEEP WELL?
YOU CERTAINLY ARE SQUIRMING A LOT TODAY. REMINDS ME OF LAST NIGHT! GUESS YOU DON'T REMEMBER THAT... ANYWAY, I'D ADVISE YOU NOT TO WASTE YOUR BREATH--YOU'RE TIED RATHER SECURELY AT THE MOMENT. BESIDES, THERE'S NOT A GREAT DEAL OF OXYGEN TO WASTE BY THIS POINT; YOU FOOLISHLY USED UP AN AWFUL LOT WHILE YOU WERE UNCONSCIOUS. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE SMALL SIZE OF YOUR NEW DIGS, BUT THEN AGAIN YOU WON'T EXACTLY BE MOVING AROUND ANY TIME SOON. OR EVER AGAIN, FOR THAT MATTER.
STARTING TO NOTICE A SLIGHT CHILL IN THE AIR? THAT'S BECAUSE THE TEMPERATURE IN THERE IS KNOWN TO FLUCTUATE. I CAN MAKE IT VERY COLD... OR VERY, VERY HOT, DEPENDING ON YOUR BEHAVIOR AND MY MOOD. FOR THE LAST HOUR IT'S BEEN DROPPING 1 DEGREE EVERY 5 MINUTES: A NICE, SLOW DESCENT FROM SUMMER TO FALL AND FINALLY INTO THE "DEAD" OF WINTER. BUT DON'T WORRY--IF YOU MANAGE TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE AFTERNOON WITHOUT CONTRACTING HYPOTHERMIA, I JUST MIGHT REWARD YOU BY REVERSING THE DIRECTION OF THE CHANGE... YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE IT NOW, BUT THAT CHAMBER CAN GET MIGHTY WARM.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE: YOU WON'T HAVE TO ENDURE THE DISCOMFORT BY YOURSELF. AT LEAST NOT AT FIRST. LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD WHILE I ADJUST THE LIGHTS... THERE, DO YOU SEE HIM? WHO CAN IT BE? WHY, IT'S YOUR YOUNG COMPANION, THE ONE WHO CALLS HIMSELF "ROBIN."
AS YOU'LL NOTICE, I HAVE SOMETHING RATHER DIFFERENT IN MIND FOR HIM. SAME SIZE CHAMBER, DIFFERENT PURPOSE. OBSERVE THE WAY HE DANGLES HELPLESSLY, UPSIDE DOWN. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE PAINFUL ENOUGH, ALL THAT BLOOD RUSHING TO HIS HANDSOME HEAD, BUT IN FACT IT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING OF WHAT I HAVE IN STORE. BY NOW YOU'VE PROBABLY DISCOVERED, AS HE WILL ONCE HE WAKES UP, THAT A GENTLE RAIN IS ENTERING THE CHAMBER AT A FAIRLY ALARMING RATE.
RIGHT NOW THE WATER IS JUST BEGINNING TO FILL THE BOTTOM OF THE TANK. I IMAGINE ONCE IT STARTS GRAZING THE TOP OF HIS HEAD HE'LL START COMING TO-- AND I DO HOPE HE DOES, BECAUSE IT WILL BE MUCH MORE ENTERTAINING FOR YOU TO WATCH HIM STRUGGLE FOR A FEW AGONIZING MOMENTS BEFORE HE DROWNS. THEN AGAIN, HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE QUITE AS ... SEASONED AS YOU AT THIS HERO BUSINESS, SO I SUPPOSE THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE HE'LL PERISH IN A FLASH.
BY THE WAY, I DEVELOPED BOTH OF THESE DEVICES FOR MY REAL VICTIMS: A BROAD ASSORTMENT OF MY FORMER COLLEAGUES. BUT THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD PROVE WORTHY GUINEA PIGS WHILE I IRON OUT THE KINKS. IF YOU CAN'T BREAK FREE--AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOU CAN'T--THEN THERE'S NO WAY HAPPY JACK FROST FROM WGOT WILL BE ABLE TO.
BUT DON'T LET ME DISCOURAGE YOU FROM TRYING. I'LL GIVE YOU BOYS A MOMENT OF PRIVACY--I'M OFF TO ROUND UP FROST AND THE NEXT WEATHERMAN ON MY LIST. I'VE DECIDED TO DEAL WITH THEM TWO AT A TIME... RATHER LIKE NOAH IN THE FLOOD, WOULDN'T YOU SAY?
FAREWELL, HERO. OH, AND IF WERE YOU, I'D GRAB A SWEATER--THEY SAY SUDDEN CHANGES IN TEMPERATURE CAN BE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH.