Monday, August 15, 2005

185. Gustavus

Six days have passed since the current phase of treatment began, and all is going according to plan. The Client has proved most compliant--his willingness to perform the role of submissive confirms my suspicion that he has much experience in this area and an openness to go farther.

I have begun to establish a daily routine for Wayne which consists primarily of various exercises he is obliged to do at my command. He spends five to six hours a day in restraints of one kind or another and takes all of his meals on the floor. I leave a bowl of water for him to drink (no hands allowed) between regimens. Each night he and I share the same bedroom: I take the bed, and he sleeps on the floor at my side.

He is in a state of near-constant arousal, but I have still forbidden him to reach an orgasm. Many times while he is tightly bound I tease him by placing my hand near his erect penis, although I make a point of not touching him. I want to be certain that the moment of his release is a turning point for him, that it marks his true obedience to me and his rejection of the man or men who came before me.

Throughout his training I have been impressed by his bravery and his willingness to push himself to extremes. However, his behavior indicates that there are things holding him back. He assumed the role of submissive without a struggle, which suggests to me that such a struggle has already occurred and that it scarred him in some way. From the beginning he has been evasive about his true motivations for doing this work. He has spoken openly about childhood tragedy, but I am convinced there is something more. Something he may not be ready to tell me.

As of today, I have lifted the earlier ban on written communication and am allowing him to maintain a journal. (I will not tell him whether I intend to read it or not, which should heighten its effectiveness as a training tool.)