Batman arrived at the air force base at 4 on the dot like a good little hero.
And I zapped the shit out of him like a bad, bad, bad guy. What's worse, I didn't hand over his new boyfriend, either. Now I have both of them right where I want them.
The one called Robin is leashed, spread-eagle (spread-robin?), to a weather balloon which very shortly will take him up, up, and away. (As a timing mechanism, I've employed the time-honored magnifying-glass-in-the-sun technique: the hot beam of sunlight is ever so slowly burning through the ropes which have been tethering his beautiful balloon to the ground.)
Batman, meanwhile, is buried somewhere in the middle of a ton of sand that I dumped into an empty swimming pool on the base. My own version of the desert, which I believe will be effective enough to finish him off through an amusing combination of heat and suffocation. He was still breathing the last time I saw him, but that was before the last seven loads of sand landed on him.
Oh, what a beautiful morning!
Oh, what a beau-ti-ful day!
I've got a beautiful feeling
Everything's going my way.